What if we asked for what we need?
A few weeks ago we came across a TED Radio Hour episode entitled Approaching with Kindness. In this episode five TED speakers shared their perspectives on the power of gratitude and appreciation. This episode was right up our alley and echoed a lot of what we’ve shared on this blog. With that said, it is always good to hear reminders like this one from Mike Robbins:
“Do you know they've scientifically proven now that when one human being expresses kindness and appreciation to another human being and it's received, it raises the serotonin level in both people's brains? It physiologically makes us feel better.”
In addition to that reminder, we were fascinated by Laura Trice’s simple question, “Why don’t we ask for the things we need?” She acknowledged our comfort level with asking for our steak to be prepared medium rare, or our shoes to be a size six, but pointed out that it is much harder for us to ask for the specific praise we need to hear.
As you work your way through March’s #currentinvitation, we offer Laura’s question as another layer. Would a specific piece of praise from a loved one, a colleague, a friend help you feel better? Here are some examples from her TED talk:
“I know a gentleman married for 25 years who's longing to hear his wife say, thank you for being the breadwinner so I could stay home with the kids, but won't ask. I know a woman who's good at this. She, once a week, meets with her husband says, I would like you to thank me for all these things I did in the house...”
If you do come up with something, but feel shy about sharing it, consider the second half of our invitation, checking in with others. When you present your need to the other person offer them the opportunity to express a need of their own. Laura says:
“Go home to your wife. Go ask her, what does she need? Go home to your husband. What does he need? Go home and ask those questions, and then help the people around you.”