A few weeks ago a dear friend of ours shared this wonderful article from Shine, a daily service that sends text messages to help make your morning better. In this article the author, Stephanie Jade Wong, discusses self-worth and the fact that it most importantly comes from within:
Self-worth is how you value yourself. It’s not based on what others think of you or the things you have (or haven’t) accomplished—it comes from within. But it’s easy to forget that our worth isn’t determined by outside forces.
Stephanie goes on to lay out 13 different things that don't determine your self-worth.
- your to-do list
- your job
- your social media following
- your age
- your appearance
- other people
- how far you can run
- your grades
- the number of friends you have
- your relationship status
- the money (or lack thereof) in the bank
- your likes
- anything or anyone but yourself
I immediately identified with #5 and #11 and shared that in the group text where I'd received this article. My friend who started the conversation said she was struggling with #1 and #2. Another friend chimed in and said "#1, #5, #7, and #11...hit me real hard."
What a revelation!
This language and identification process gives us such a wonderful opportunity to be productively vulnerable with our friends. In sharing with each other, we can learn how best to support one another in meaningful and directed ways.
If you haven't yet, we recommend taking a moment to read through the full Shine article. Sit with the descriptions and ask yourself where you fall victim to defining your self-worth externally.
If you feel comfortable, we'd love to hear from you in the comments. We'd appreciate the privilege to be let in so that we too can be a part of your support network. Perhaps more importantly, we hope you'll be encouraged to share this article and language with your friends. They are in your corner and can help you the most.
Here are the cards we'll be sending to help our friends with each of their self-worth challenges.
#1 - I think of you often and I want you to know that your to-do list, your achievements, do not define you. Today I hope you will take time to appreciate yourself for at least one thing that is not accomplishment based.
#2 - Remember this...your job does not define you. You are so much more than a ____. You are a god mother, an aunt, a mom to the most adorable and loving dog, a fierce friend, a brilliant mind, a witty spirit, and so so much more. Take a moment to step back and appreciate all that you are.
#5 - No one's beauty is perfect and that is OKAY. Yours is imperfectly perfect and I wouldn't want it any other way. Today I hope you will take a moment to cherish the parts of you that you love, and let go of what society makes you think is less than perfect. Remember instead that those parts of you are imperfectly perfect and that is a wonderful thing.
#7 - You've set your goal for a reason. It is something you are working towards. You will not reach it over night, but with practice and with time, you WILL reach it. I believe in you. (this card would also be great.)
#11 - You are exactly where you need to be. Perhaps it is not where you want to be, but it is leading to where you are going. The steps you are taking today, will bring you to where you want to be tomorrow. Have faith in the process. You are on the right track.
Shout out to Mallory Kassoy for turning us on to Shine.